I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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