R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
