She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
