what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
