New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
