nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
