I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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