I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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