Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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