you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize