You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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