i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
