Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
