Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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