we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
