Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm getting married
To pizza
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
