Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
