now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
