OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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