alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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