Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
