I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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