i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
