your thong is hanging out like whoa
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
