Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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