omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
