I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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