you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
