You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Welp...herpes.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
