I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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