wanna go halves on a baby?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
