i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
