don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
