Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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