So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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