:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
