I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
