no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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