saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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