People in love make me want to vomit
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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