So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
