I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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