her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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