don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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