he shaved USA in his pubs
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
