whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
