Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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