So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize