I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
