She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
