Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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