Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
