I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
