How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
