Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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