We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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