addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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