Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize